Sometimes.. things are just too difficult to expresss.. what am I suppose to do?
Great things happen.. bad things happen too.. but you cant be the one to choose how things going to turn out.. good or bad.

Loving someone is hard.. missing someone is even harder to handle.. but what if your heart cant stand that anymore?? -__-! Alhamdulillah we muslim were taught to release that to Allah.. we have Allah to lean on.. but at some points.. human beings.. we just cant hold them anymore.

You guys might be wondering.. "weyh.. hang nk ckp apa sbnrnya?".. well.. here it is.. I've had fallen in love with this man.. I knew him long time back since I we were just a kid. But we actually become friend last 3 years. Our moms and dads are friends. He use to be kind, caring and talkative. He use to joke around but things change.. he maybe have his own aim to change himself to be better duniya wal akhirah. So since thn he changed alot.. he never talk, joke around like he use to.. well.. he's just different. Whenever we had a conversation.. he would find fault in me.. whenever I needed help.. he would say.. "siapa kau".. but sometimes he would be just caring like he use too.. but that only last for few minutes. . Later on we would start to argue and fight.

My hearts would beat tremendously but not that I'm nervous but its because I'm so angry.. He would always makes me angry.. and I hate that. I hate myself in a state of anger cause I cant control myself.. sometimes. I use to tell him that I like him.. and I told him to respond.. coz if he cant accept than I'd just let go and be friend like usual. I wouldnt feel embarrassed for being rejected coz Allah knows what's best.. if I were to be rejected that.. he's not my life partner as Allah has planned.
But once I told him what I feel.. he just said, "kita blajar dulu.. dh habes nanti kita fikir benda ni". I knew it coz I also wanted to finish my study first and get occupation if possible but than.. when he said that.. I dont get any answers..  I would just stay still and not saying anything... without an answer.. my heart would be just as fool as its owners. Huh!

Most of my classmates are already taken.. few of them got married another few of them got engaged.. i felted that i'm being challenged. I'm just stuck thinking how lonely I am. People would say.. we are muslim.. we never be alone cuz Allah is always there. But we, human beings are just human beings.. we had this feeling..
To that person.. I know you wouldnt be reading this post but just in case u came across.. I just wanted you to know.. how ego you are.. how stone-head you are.. how much you've made me angry.. how you ignored me and how you looked at me.. I've just fallen for you.. if you are to reject me say so and stop your "chips more" caring text with me. Coz by that you're makin me dilemma and eventually giving me hope to wait. Any man cant attract me like you did.. unless you could give me a clearer answer.

The end.